Week 4

Things have definitely picked up this week. Last Friday we moved into our house finally!! We had been waiting all week for the houses to be professionally cleaned so we could move in. So Friday rolls around and they tell us they’re finally ready and start moving furniture over from the house we had been staying in. Well we come over to the house and although the floors had probably been swept and the cabinets cleaned out – it had not been otherwise cleaned. We spent the rest of the day going to the store and trying to buy things we needed like trash bins, buckets, mops, brooms, etc but then coming home and cleaning everything before we could unpack. We couldn’t really start cleaning until Tyler went to bed either. Then it was rearranging furniture, wiping everything down with Lysol and then unpacking. We didn’t go to bed until 1:00 in the morning.

It’s a good feeling to finally be settled in one place and know you’ll be here for awhile. Its been over a month now since we’ve been in a house, all to ourselves. The weather has gotten nicer too, not very much rain, dryer and a little cooler. We’ve been trying to not use the AC but our house stays pretty cool with the windows open and a few fans. I really like our house actually. It’s a little more private since its in the back of the property and surrounded by trees on three sides. The balcony off of the guest room/ my office upstairs is great too. It has a great breeze and its very peaceful up there. The kitchen is big and open to the our little sitting area with couches and a t.v. At the other end of the house is a sliding glass door that goes out to a little patio. I definitely think both houses have their perks and I’m happy where we are.

I also finally met with one of the owners to go over my job responsibilities last week. So I was able to start doing some stuff this week but its been a little slow with trying to get internet, get a working computer etc. (Nothing is wrong with our computer, they were just supposed to give me a computer for work and multiple keys on the laptop didn’t work on the one they gave me.) Plus they still haven’t told me what my pay will be. The other owner flew in this week on Wednesday and said he’d discuss it with me on Monday and that I shouldn’t do anymore work until we’ve negotiated something. I hate discussions like this because I don’t ever really know whats reasonable and I’m never one to say – no that’s not enough money for me. I don’t’ know everything about the finances in the company and its not like my income is the sole income for the family so its difficult for me to know how to approach it. So we’ll see what happens. They seem like reasonable people so I’m sure we’ll work something out that all parties can agree on.

Andy and I have also been in the middle of a big mess with trying to buy a car. We were supposed to buy a Kia sedan but had some reservations about it. Well meanwhile one of the staff at work told Andy about a friend he had who had a nicer newer car and we would be able to get parts for it more easily and it was a little less expensive. So we look at that car on Sunday and tell him we want to buy it and set it up to get the car and pay him this Wednesday. Well something with our credit card didn’t work out and we could only get a third of the money to him that day. When Andy was talking to some people at the bank after the man had left they asked what car he was buying and for how much and multiple people told him he was paying way too much for it and he’d be lucky to get half of that in a year when we need to sell it. Well on top of that the check engine light suddenly came on that day and the driver’s side window wasn’t working right. So…it turned pretty sticky when Andy confronted the guy on it and he threatened to sue if we didn’t get him the rest of the money by 4:00 Thursday. So we had to make a few calls to people in the company that hold some weight in the community to make sure this guy couldn’t sue us for having buyer’s remorse. Andy had to meet with a Samoan lawyer today too (for only $25 US dollars) just to make sure we’re doing everything right and then he’ll have a meeting with the guy tomorrow to either negotiate a better price or say –“hey we don’t want it anymore. Give us our money back.” The only problem with option 2 is that we think the guy has already spent the $6,000 tala dollars we already gave him…. So I’ll let you know next week how the story ends. Right now I’m just fed up with it and don’t want to deal with it anymore. Plus the car is a stick shift which I don’t drive and wasn’t really crazy about learning here – in a foreign country where they don’t’ exactly follow the same traffic laws as in the U.S. At least they haven’t switched to driving on the left side of the road yet otherwise that would definitely be a recipe for disaster for me.

(** It’s the next day and the story ends that – Andy went in there all ready to negotiate with the guy for a better price, or to have the car fixed etc. Thinking he didn’t have our money to pay us back. Well the guy just got on the phone and said “I already have another buyer for the car. Meet me today with the car and I’ll give you your money back.” He was very apologetic about threatening to sue and seemed more reasonable. To me that says how much weight this woman Breda has in the community because as soon as we got her involved, he backed down and was willing to work with us more. So…long term I think we’ve learned some lessons that will help us buy a better car in the future – short term – we still don’t have a car. )

So in other news – Suzie came on Wednesday! I’m so excited to have more people here and to have a friend. Tyler has been so cute with Kye too. They follow each other around the house and talk in gibberish and get into trouble together. They get into fights occasionally too when they want the same toy, but I think they’re good for each other. Because our houses are so close together and we usually have the windows open you can hear the other baby crying (or the baby next door). There have been a few times in the middle of the night that I thought Tyler was crying and went in and he was fast asleep and it had really been the neighbor’s baby crying. But for the most part a mother knows her own child’s cry and I know when its Tyler. Anyway, this morning they had just put Kye down for a nap and he was quite sad about this and was crying pretty loud in his crib. Well I’d also put Tyler down for a nap, but he had also decided he didn’t want to sleep. Tyler’s room is in the front of our house and Kye’s room is in the back of theirs so they’re directly across the yard from each other. Well as Kye is sobbing in his crib – Tyler is yelling out the window of his crib – KYE! KYE! KYE! It was the cutest thing. It was like he was saying “Its okay buddy. It’ll get better. You’ll adjust.”

I can tell its been hard on Suzie with the initial shock of being here. I see her going through all of the same emotions and frustrations I did a few weeks ago. In a way its hard because I feel like I’ve come to a better place with it and its like reliving it again to see her go through it now. Its been nice though to have someone around to talk about everything with. Nathan’s sister Lindsay is also here for two weeks.

I feel like I’ve had a lot of ups and downs emotionally this week. Surprisingly I haven’t cried since I’ve been here. I guess I am one to keep things to myself emotionally. So I haven’t had a breaking point that low yet. I was feeling really good about being here this past week and loving being settled into our house, unpacking, having good weather etc. Then all of the business with the car kind of left a bad taste in my mouth about Samoans for some reason. I think that combined with a bad experience I’d had on Tuesday trying to convince the cleaning guy that he was supposed to clean Nathan’s house and our upstairs because he’d never done it the first time was frustrating. It wasn’t until I brought up Breda Fitua’s name and told him I’d talked to her that he took me seriously and actually did what I was asking him. I guess I started thinking – can I really trust these people? Do they all just see me as some silly Palangi trying to live in another country? Or do they just see me as a rich American that they can take advantage of because they think I have money? Obviously I can’t stereo type everyone that way, but it made me a little less trusting. Also, since we’ve had high speed internet I’ve been in contact more with friends and family back home and checking blogs and its made me more homesick. I was reading one friends blog about all of the fun summer stuff she’s doing with her kids and I just thought – that’s what I should be doing right now with Tyler – normal summer stuff like going to the pool, the zoo, the park etc. Instead we’re wandering the street of Apia with thick layers of bug repellant and sunscreen, shooing away wild dogs and trying to find some toys that aren’t 4 times the price I’d pay in America. Of course when I was telling Suzie this yesterday she made a good point that yeah, maybe its sad we’re not doing those things, but I bet a lot of people are looking at our cool beach adventures and saying – I wish I were doing that this summer. Its all how you look at it I guess.

I also have started to become sick of rice and pasta. We eat one or the other for almost every meal. White rice I am especially getting sick of. I think I will have to get over this though because its cheap and served with almost every meal here. I also haven’t watched a television since I’ve been here. No, I did not get to watch the season finale of LOST and it will take up too many of our allotted mega bytes on high speed for the month to download it. I’m mourning that as well. For the first time last night I really had the urge to just sit on the couch with some chips and salsa and forget about the day while watching Law and Order. I miss my Law and Order….

Of course I know I will get past this. I feel like what’s keeping me going right now is having realistic expectations about my experience. I know there will be ups and downs all along the way and that what I’m feeling right now is completely normal and will pass over time. I look at my sister Sarah who’s nearing the end of her “living abroad” adventure in India and feeling slightly envious that she’ll be back in the states soon. However, Sarah says that’s she’s feeling sad about leaving and that instead of looking forward to all of the conveniences she’ll now have in the states, she’s thinking about what she’s had in India that she’ll never have again.

*** I’m writing this section the next day as well. I got to drive for the first time in a month today. We borrowed the owner’s car and Suzie, Lindsay, Tyler, Kye and I went into town to go to the market. We loaded up on bananas, pineapples, avocadoes etc. Suzie served a mission in Hawaii so she’s more familiar with the island fruit and could identify stuff for me and was more adventurous about trying new things. I was proud of myself for being able to drive around town though. Every time I do it the town becomes smaller and I realized a few stores were closer to each other than I thought. I could park my car in one place and go to 4 different stores that I like all within walking distance. Suzie brought her jogging stroller and we discovered that if we don’t buckle them in we can fit both Tyler and Kye into her stroller just one behind the other. It made it easier to walk around today and may be a good temporary solution. The boys were good sports about it too.

Chief Squish

In Samoa there is definitely a hierarchy, as far as who’s treated the best, served first, etc. Chiefs are at the top of this, their lesser council men below them and I know missionaries of all faiths are pretty high up there too. Well I’m starting to think that Palangi babies, more specifically Tyler, are also up there with the chiefs and the missionaries. While we were at the restaurant, the two young waitresses would wipe Tyler’s mouth for him, feed him his cheerios, and hold his sippy cup up to his mouth for him. Tyler was loving the attention. They’d give him kisses and he’d kiss them back. Every time they’d leave he’d fuss so of course they’d come back over and play with him. As we were leaving all of the waitresses said “Bye Tyla, Bye Tyla.” Pretty much every restaurant we’ve gone to the waitresses know “Tyla” by name by the time we leave and tell him to come back and visit. He’s definitely like royalty around here.

*For those of you who don’t know. “Squish” is Andy’s nickname for Tyler because he’s kind of a “squishy” kid, especially those cute thighs : )

Tyler's First Day in Nursery

We have 11:00 church which has always been tough for Tyler since its in the middle of lunch and nap time. Combine that with no AC and you have a very grumpy antsy 1 year old. I spent most of last Sunday out in the courtyard with him since he didn’t want to sit still during Gospel Doctrine. I was walking past all of the classrooms, which all have windows so you can see in and noticed where the nursery was. The leaders told me I could come in and join them. It was air conditioned in there and they had out lots of toys with only a few kids. The nursery leader told me they only had 5 kids that day and about 4 leaders. (They usually have over 10 kids) So although I told her Tyler was only 15 months, she told me he could stay as long as he didn’t cry. In my mind I’m thinking “Ok, bud - now don’t bIow this. They’ve got air conditioning, snacks, toys and friends to play with. This is your big chance: An early intro to nursery. “ I knew Tyler would probably throw a bigger fit if I tried to take him away from the toys so I decided to take advantage of the chance to enjoy Relief Society. Tyler’s usually fine with babysitters and never cries, and if there were toys and other kids around he’d be fine.

Well about 30 minutes into Relief Society I look over and see Tyler trotting down the aisle with a big smile on his face and remnants of a tear on his cheek. He’d been kicked out of nursery on his first day…I looked back to see the nursery leader walking back to the classroom – she hadn’t even bothered to make sure I saw him before she left! I’m kind of curious now what happened that he started to cry. I’m quite sure it wasn’t because he missed me. A more likely scenario was that either Tyler wanted a toy that some other kid wanted too and a fight broke out with some tears or he wanted to do something the leaders didn’t want him to do and Tyler’s strong will came out with some tears. I think I’ll sit in and observe for a week or two next time before I leave him for good. I do worry a little about the cultural differences in raising children here. I see a lot of kids Tyler’s age just wandering around the yard, unattended by adults and I wonder if this kind of mentality is true in the nursery too. I’m also wondering if this “no crying” rule is a condition they put on the 18 month olds too. If so, I’m thinking they must either have some really well behaved kids in there or they’re frequently returned to their parents.

P.S. Tyler also started walking the day after we arrived in Samoa. I knew he was holding out.

The Rain

We were told that its been unseasonably rainy since we’ve been here. More like weather for the rainy season. I was glad to hear it doesn’t get any worse. It rained really hard all night Friday night and was still raining the next morning. With a tin roof, it made it hard for poor Nathan to sleep upstairs. When we woke up on Saturday morning the pool was overflowing. We had a small river running through our front yard. Andy and Nathan thought it’d be fun to swim in the overflowing swimming pool and the pouring rain. It reminded me of 7th grade science class when you learn about water displacement: watching the already overflowing pool create huge waves of water and run off into the lawn as Andy and Nathan did cannon balls into it. They stayed out in the rain and played for a good hour and half. It’s a warm rain so it wasn’t like they got cold. So much water was running out of the gutters that Andy decided to take a shower in one of them. We have a lot of pictures and videos of all of this. Once the rain had finally stopped around noon we decided to venture into town with David’s car and get some grocery shopping done. Well even several hours after the rain had stopped a lot of the streets downtown were flooded and a lot of the stores had to be sandbagged. There were fire men standing in the flooded streets directing traffic. We parked about a block from the produce market and got out and walked through the muddy water to the market. I had to roll up my jean capris as I waded through it so they didn’t get wet. I heard some Samoan girl say to her friend something about the Palangi’s and then “Welcome to Samoa.” This was my first time to the market though and we were able to get lots of stuff.
On our trek back to the car we had to wade through the same street with water in it. As I was walking Andy told me to watch out because the sidewalk dropped down, well just then I took a step down into a hole and sunk down into water up to my thigh. I had to put my hands out in front of me to catch my fall and got my rain jacket all wet too. I got a nasty bruise on my ankle and knee too. Of course a bus full of Samoans drove by just then too and everyone on the bus was laughing at me. I had one dry leg and one wet one for the next little while as we made our way around to different stores. Little kids would follow me and point and laugh.
Generally it rains at least once a day, usually more. Its tough to plan walks when the rain clouds come in so fast. The other day I wanted to go for a walk with Tyler. The next sequence of events happened over the span of about 30 seconds. I suddenly realized it wasn’t as hot anymore. I looked up and saw that rain clouds had come in, I turned the stroller around to head home, I heard it in the trees first, like a big wind gust was coming, and then the rushing. It poured, so hard and so fast, like the hardest rain you’ve ever seen in Utah. I just started running back for the house. Within about a minute I was completely soaked. I tried to put the cover over Tyler, but he still managed to be soaked too. About the time I arrived back at our driveway, of course the rain had stopped. I still decided to call it quits and put some dry clothes on. This has happened to me several times. That day was probably the hardest it rained on me though. Tyler doesn’t seem to mind the rain. Even when it poured that day he didn’t want to go back and didn’t make a peep when he was getting soaked. When we’re inside and it starts to rain hard he runs to the window on the sliding glass door and yells “REEN!” (his version of rain) and puts his nose against the glass to watch it come down.

Wild Dogs

So we were told the wild dogs were mainly in Apia, the city, but we quickly realized this isn’t true. They’re pretty much everywhere. We’ve had a few wander into the yard and at one point we found 5 of them fighting in our back yard. Everyone’s trash bins (where they throw their bags of trash to be picked up by the garbage truck) are at the end of their drive ways in a big wire box about 6 feet off the ground. This is to prevent the dogs from getting to them. You always see lots of trash lying around by the trash bin though so I’m guessing some dogs must be good jumpers? Anyway, we’ve been told by everyone multiple times not to approach the dogs (hence why they’re called wild dogs?) and that they can be aggressive when foods around. This has deterred me sometimes from walking around by myself. However, the Samoan people are ruthless with the dogs and will pelt them with rocks if they get anywhere near them. Consequently, the dogs have been conditioned that if you just bend down like you’re going to pick up a rock, they run away. Lucky for me the threat works, because I’m quite sure if the dogs knew how poor my aim actually was – they would not be running

Paradise

Saturday was an exploration day. Lou, the clinical director, took us around the island all day on Saturday. The really nice beaches are actually on the other side of the island and take about 45 minutes to get to. We really got to see a whole new part of Samoa and all of its great beauty. We visited a few waterfalls that were really rushing after the rain we’d been getting. We drove through quite a few small villages too with more fales, wild dogs, chickens and pigs. A lot of the kids run around half naked – one because its hot, and two I’m sure because they’re pretty poor and don’t have much clothes.

Lou took us to a great beach where they have small fales right on the water. All of the beaches are owned by the local villages so usually someone will come out and ask for some money to use the beach and one of the fales. Its about 5 tala per person or 2-3 U.S. dollars. We got to go snorkeling here and Tyler got to swim in the ocean for the first time. It was an overcast day, but there was a great breeze and no one else around! Its strange – the Samoans don’t swim in the water and there really aren’t a lot of tourists either. So we were the only ones on the beach. Andy and I got to go out snorkeling while Nathan watched Tyler. We saw so many bright colorful fish and some bright blue star fish. The current taking you back in to shore was pretty strong so it was a good workout too trying to stay out far enough to see some fish. We’ll have to go back often to do that. As we were leaving a few kids from the village came out and Andy took their picture and talked to them for awhile. Andy’s has his charm with kids and they were all gathered around him smiling and laughing while he showed them their pictures.

The following Saturday we went to Vavau beach. Its probably our favorite spot thus far. There’s a little resort right on the beach with this little cove and small islands right off shore. Its hard for me to describe right now. But the cliffs, shallow water, tall palm trees and secluded area made it all beautiful for us. We sat in the shallow water for awhile and played with Tyler. He still doesn’t really like the sand and it takes him a little while to warm up to being in the ocean, but I think he’ll get used to it.

Shopping

The grocery stores here mainly just have nonperishable items. Most also sell homemade bread which is pretty good. They’ll have some produce but it doesn’t look very good and is usually expensive. The meat is pretty sketchy at most places too. They’ll just have big frozen pork chops and chicken wings thrown into a freezer with nothing around them. Some places don’t even refrigerate it. We were told that the AQM was the only place that was probably safe to buy meat at. I got ½ pound of chicken breast there for $14 tala or about $6 American dollars. I guess we won’t be eating fresh meat all that often. Dairy is hard to find here too. The milk is all boxed milk and cheese doesn’t have the same taste or consistency as the cheese we’re used to. I found sour cream at one store but it was very expensive and yogurt is also expensive, but available. Even the canned goods you have to check the expiration dates on everything. Most things are about to expire either in the next few months or already have in some cases. Andy had to go to 3 different stores before he found a bottle of coke that had only been expired for 1 month instead of 4. You can usually tell how expensive a grocery store is going to be too by how clean and cool it is inside. If its clean, well lit and has AC – that means its more expensive. Our favorite so far is MaKenzie’s. Its close to our house, has a lot of American foods for reasonable prices, and is kind of dark, dirty and has no AC. They also have a lot of other random stuff like kitchen items, towels, curtains, kids toys, and even a box of Penn tennis balls that Andy found in the back. My take too is that they have something one week and not have it again for a few months. Its just kind of hit or miss sometimes. So I think shopping will be an adventure and a learning process for me.