Your Future is as Bright as Your Faith

I've felt impressed lately that I need to take a risk and be more personal with my blog entries. Although I haven't posted in awhile its not because of lack of significant events, probably more because of them. I thought I would share a little more about whats been going on at our house rather than just the usually funny things the kids say and tell everyone about some lessons I've learned lately too.

As many of you know the first Sunday in March my dad received a much awaited liver transplant. A tumor was found on his liver last fall and it was determined that a transplant would be the best option in preserving his health and his life. We are very fortunate that the surgery went well and he has recuperated very well since then. He's been walking everyday and got the go ahead from the doctor to return to work and running next week sometime. Although hearing the news about my dad's condition last fall was scary for all of us, I  always felt that God had more for my dad to do in this life and he would be okay.

Around the same time as my dad's surgery, Andy was having periodic episodes of pain and numbness in his right arm. We thought originally it was caused from a pinched nerve or carpel tunnel from typing too much. He went to many different doctors and nerve specialists over the past few weeks and months to figure out what was causing the pain. During one doctors visit where the pain was causing him to become dizzy and nauseous they even thought he might be having a stroke and he was immediately rushed to the ER for a thorough evaluation including a CT scan and EKG. Luckily the tests came back negative for anything life threatening But we still didn't have a good answer for what was causing this. After a second ER visit after an episode at work one afternoon, Andy and I went back to the spinal specialist who told us this was much more than a simple pinched nerve and we needed to see the primary care physician. After an hour of explaining everything to the doctor he told Andy that because the tests didn't show anything life threatening - his default explanation was that it was being caused by stress or anxiety. Instead of his body having an emotional response to stress he was having a neurological one. Since that time Andy has taken a pretty in depth look at his life and habits and really taken a proactive approach to reducing some stress in his life. He exercises more, drinks less caffeine, gets more sleep and is attempting to simplify and reduce stress at work. He's realizing that he has to take a more proactive role in his own health. We also found out from a physical therapist that the muscles in his right side have become extremely tight over the past several weeks and months which are causing the pain and numbness in his right side and he's in the process of retraining his body to not tense up so much in response to stress.This is a lengthy explanation but its been a really emotionally draining ordeal for us over the past month. Visiting your husband twice in the ER in one week was not exactly good for my stress or anxiety level either. I feel confident, however, that we're on the right track and that with establishing good habits and a bit of patience he'll be okay.

Along with my dad's transplant and Andy's health problems, we also were having some really positive and good realizations regarding Andy's career path. Its always been his dream to one day open up a private practice of his own. We always said it would happen one day, but not yet. This past month Andy also finally received his LCSW and can now independently practice as a social worker. To make a long story short - everything kind of came together for us and we decided that now is the time to start the private practice. The idea of being his own boss and having the freedom to run a therapy office the way Andy feels it should be done has been very freeing and exciting for Andy. I don't think I've ever seen him this motivated or excited about something. He's been working so hard this past month and seems to have so much extra energy for it. We have also felt strongly that we should move closer to my parents to open the practice. So...beginning about the second week of May we will be moving to Frederick, Maryland. Andy has already put in his notice at work. I feel like posting this here makes it really official.  I must admit I have some fears of the unknown and have had a lot of anxiety over it in the past few weeks. I don't doubt Andy's abilities, in fact I know he's a great therapist. We just have to get people in the door and I know they'll like him. Its just the short term - its going to be a lot of work.
 
I feel like I have come to a better place with this decision this past weekend. I really feel like we have been led to this decision over the past year(s). Things that at the time we saw as set backs were really moving us towards this move, I believe strongly that there is a plan for each of us and if we are open and in tune to it, we'll be guided on the right path. President Thomas S. Monson, president of our Church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) once said "Your future is as bright as your faith." I feel like this is my motto right now. I've been repeating it to myself a lot. If I believe this will work out and this is the right thing for my family right now then it will all work out. I know this post will bring mixed emotions from friends and family here in Utah who we will be leaving behind and friends and family in the East who I will see more of in the future. I'll keep you posted!

Tyler turns 4!

Tyler turned 4 on Sunday. He made sure to let everyone at church know it was his birthday. He requested a Tiger cake this year. In my haste to get dinner ready and the cake. I only had time to make orange frosting and wasn't sure what I was going to do for a face. Tyler kept asking if he could decorate the cake. After a few seconds, I handed him the icing pen and said 'Have at it. Its your cake.' Like Andy said. - Tyler will probably remember this birthday cake more than the others since he got to decorate it himself.

Tyler's favorite present this year was his Huffy Rocket bike. Too bad it was raining and dark out when we opened presents. We let him take it for a few spins around the kitchen though. He's been out practicing riding on the driveway every day since.

Bryce, of course, had a hard time understanding why Tyler kept getting presents but he didnt. He was really determined to ride his bike too. In usual second child fashion - Bryce will now inherit Tyler's big wheel. Good thing he's too young to care if everything he gets is a hand me down.

Jimmer Mania Hits the Ferguson House

Andy, Tyler and I went to BYU's last home game on Saturday afternoon. With BYU doing so well this past season I thought we have to go to a game in the Marriot Center. We were so glad we did. Although the game was expected to be and was a total blow out, the crowd was so energized. Andy and I were loving the excitement and noise.

Tyler unfortunately thought it was a little loud. He got into it after awhile though and did "spirit fingers" with the rest of the crowd during free throws and cheered for BYU points. He kept asking me if Jimmer won.

Tyler also really wanted to make a sign. Not sure Jimmer could see it from our nose bleed seats, but its the thought that counts. Here's hoping for a good run in the tournament too - Go cougars!

Whats up with the Kids

I've been meaning for awhile to do a post of what the kids are doing right now as my own little log. Maybe its interesting to the grandparents too. Just know the detailed account that follows is more for my own record keeping then that I think everyone really cares to read it.

Bryce - 19 1/2 months

He is full of personality. Hamming it up for an audience one second and throwing screaming tantrums on the floor the next. He can be pretty intense. When he's hungry he'll act as if he hasn't eaten in days and we reguarly deprive him of food. (not the case). If his trains fall over in the living room he'll run over to me saying "Fa! Fa! (fall)" and in a panick pull on my arm until I can come assess the train crash situation.

Bryce also continues to have a "I'm going to do it my way" personality. I'm not going to crawl. I'm going to scoot on my bum. I won't walk until I'm good and ready and I'm not going to say words like you do I'm going to make up my own! I talked to the pediatrictian about my concerns that Bryce is developing his own language but he assured me its fairly normal for his age and as long as he seems to understand me okay - his hearing is probably fine.

Here is a list of Bryce's made up words to date:

Milk - guaog guaog (its a weird glotteral sound that we don't think even exists in the English lanuage, maybe Chinese..)
Chocolate milk - Mine key
Crayon (or any writing utensil) - Beebee
Please - Ree Ree (usually he just signs it)

All Done - Na na (also signs this)
Food - Nummy

Words that are actually close to the English language:
Dog - Doggie (probably his best pronounced word, also his favorite animal)
Potty - poppy
Poop - pooo
Clean up - Meanup
Car - Ca
Book - bu
Blankie - benkie
Tyler - either Ty Ty or Tibee
Ball - Ba
Juice - Ju
Toast - Toe
Nose - No
Teeth - Teef
Shoes - Foos
Broke - Bro
Fall - Fa
Train - go go
Cracker - crackie
Bucket - buckie
Back pack - baka
All Gone - aga
Costco- caco
He also says trash, yucky, stuck. Mama, Dad, Kitty cat, and monkey. There's probably others he's said that I don't remember too. Unfortunately I'm probably the only one that understands most of these. But I'm just glad we can start to communicate through more than just screams.

He's fairly independent and walked right into nursery at 18 months and never looked back. The nursery leaders said they've never had a kid adjust as well to being in nursery as Bryce. They only time they've ever brought him to me was when he had a poopy diaper and then they had a hard time getting him to leave. He doesn't even seem to care when Andy and I come to pick him up.

Things Bryce likes right now - Trains. Ever since playing with the electric train at my parents house Bryce loves gogos. He links up his small Thomas the Tank trains and makes tracks for them in the family room. He also likes playing in the potty (unfortunate for me). He loves to sit on Tyler's training potty and pretend to go potty. After a few seconds he'll make a distressed face and say "Pooo." Then stand up and give me a high five. He loves anything Tyler's doing too and wants to be just like him. Too bad they also fight over a lot of toys. He also loves sitting on mom's lap with a sippy cup of milk and his "benkie."

Tyler - almost 4 years

Tyler is at a very curious age. He probably asks me about 30 questions a day.

Typical questions Tyler asks me:
Do spiders have noses?
Do sharks have blow holes like whales do?
If I feed a bear will he hurt me?
How long will it take my poop to reach to ocean?

Possibly what Tigger looks like in Tyler's mind

I also really need to post about Tigger. Tigger has been Tyler's imaginary friend for probably over a year now. I think he was "inspired" by a character on the movie Kung Fu Panda (which has since been banned at our house because Tyler started doing Kung fu moves on everyone after he'd watched it). According to Tyler Tigger is a very large black Tiger with rings on his tail that isn't afraid of anything, talks in a very deep voice and is Tyler's best friend. We kind of think of Tigger as Tyler's alter ego. He's everything Tyler wishes he could be. Fast, strong, and most importantly fearless. When I can tell Tyler's afraid of something he often tells me he's not scared anymore because he knows Tigger can fight whatever it is he's afraid of. His child therapist father says its a good and healthy way for Tyler to work out his fears.  We know Tigger is "around" because Tyler will start talking in a really deep voice. Interesting that Tigger always "goes home" when actual kids are around for Tyler to play with though.We don't know how long Tigger will stick around, but we kind of feel like he's a part of the family and I'm glad he helps Tyler feel safe.

Well Traveled Kids

We're going to Belgium! Andy's parents have been serving a mission for our church for the past year in Belgium and the Netherlands. We knew we wanted to go visit them while they were there but figured we'd leave the kids and go on a little European vacation alone. To make a long story short - we booked our flights for the middle of April and we're bringing the kids along too! Both of our kids will now have a passport before the age of 2. Pictured above is Bryce and Tyler's passport photos, respectively. Tyler's was taken around 14 months, before we left for Samoa and Bryce is now 19 months.

Bedtime at The Fergusons

Tonight Andy had scouts so I was putting the boys to bed by myself. Bryce was all ready for bed and Tyler was working on getting his pajamas on. I'd just gone to the bathroom and was washing my hands when I heard a thud and a loud wail from Bryce - an obvious hurt cry. Tyler had been giving Bryce cheap shots all night and had already been in time out twice for kicking so I had an idea of what happened. I walked into the hallway to see Bryce bawling and just standing up from laying on the ground.

I asked Tyler "What happened?" (my first mistake). Tyler very innocently says "I think Bryce just tripped over his toy drum and fell down." I said "Considering his toy drum is in the toy closet right now I don't think thats what happened. I wish you would just tell me the truth Tyler."

While standing in the doorway to his room completely naked Tyler says this to me" I can't Mom. I'm too young. I don't understand what the truth is. I've lost my understanding."

Obviously someone has been listening to Andy and I's recent conversations on whether or not Tyler is old enough to understand the difference between lying and telling the truth. I'm thinking he does and I think he's mastering the art of manipulation too.

Christmas in Maryland

Highlights from our trip to Maryland over Christmas. The boys and I got to spend 13 days in Maryland with my parents, my sister and her husband and her daughter Anya. Andy left a few days earlier to return to work. Here are the Kippens second generation on Christmas Eve.

My dad would always read Sarah and I The Night Before Christmas before we got into bed on Christmas Eve when we were kids. I love this picture of my dad reading it to the next generation.

Santa left lots of fun stuff for the kids. Tyler got this toy guitar which he rocked out on all Christmas morning til Andy decided it had mysteriously disappeared for the rest of the day. Tyler also got the movie How to Train Your Dragon from Santa and a game called Cooties, a remote control Lightning McQueen car, legos, books, hand puppets and play dough.

I was actually really excited for Tyler to give Bryce this stuffed dog since Tyler was actually thoughtful about it and I know how much Bryce loves dogs. His face doesn't show it here but he does actually like the "doggie" now. Bryce also got a Sit N Spin, kids musical instrument set, Toy Story 3, markers that only work on the paper, a crash car, and books.

The Wednesday evening after Christmas my parents treated all of us to a limo ride to see all of the lights in D.C. We all rode in this stretch limo to see Seneca Park (a state park filled with Christmas lights), the Washington D.C. temple, and the National Christmas tree in front of the White House. We rode in style with our snacks and Marinelli's in wine glasses. We got to pull right up to each of the attractions and get out to walk around a little. We played games on the way home. It was a pretty unique experience.

We were also able to visit my Aunt Terry's family one evening for dinner. Two years ago Tyler got to ride on my Uncle Doug's tractor (pictured below) while we were visiting and he talked about it for months afterwards. We reminded him about the tractor on our way over and my uncle was nice enough to let him have another ride and brave the bitter cold outside.

We also visited the dairy farm again to feed the baby cows. We watched them bring in one baby cow that was still all wet because it had just been born that day!

My dad getting friendly with the baby cows.

Bryce wasn't as afraid of the cows this time. I think he looks cute here in his hat and huge poofy coat.

Tyler in downtown Frederick on New Year's Day.

This wall is kind of an optical illusion. The artist has painted walls all over the city that look 3D and very realistic until you see up close that they're just painted on a concrete wall. Kind of cool.

Bryce and my dad at Baker's Park. My boys really love my dad (and my mom). They always want Pop to play with them. Bryce would always follow my dad around saying "Pa! Pa!" and then motion for him to follow him into the living room to play with the electric train. He loves to be with his Pop and I know he misses him. It was a really nice trip. Unfortunately the boys and I got sick right before we left. I spent 2 1/2 hours at urgent care with Bryce on Tuesday and found out he had an ear infection in both ears. Traveling for 10 hours alone with 2 sick kids on Wednesday was not something I want to do again anytime soon. I had a major migraine by the time we got back to Provo. On the plane ride home Tyler came down with a fever too and I've spent the past two days since we got home taking care of sick kids. At least they waited til we were leaving to come down with it.